


Vox Vox Revolution!

by DK_Eldritch



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Absurd, Arcades, Comedy, Dance Dance Revolution - Freeform, Gen, Generation Gap, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:34:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22191895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DK_Eldritch/pseuds/DK_Eldritch
Summary: Crymini brings a couple of the Hazbins to her local arcade, but their fun time is interrupted when Alastor's arch enemy challenges him to Hell's greatest test of skill.This is a short gag fic based off a livestream joke from Faustisse's Youtube Channel.
Relationships: Alastor & Vox (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 87





	1. These Luddites Got No Skill

It was a hot afternoon and a chunk of the hotel staff was following Crymini’s down the street. She promised that she’d show them where she usually hung out, so she brought them to the newer side of town.

“So these are my stomping ground. You following me? I walk this shit every day.” Crymini stopped at a local spot called ‘Hellzmonkeyz’ “This is the arcade I always go to. Do any of you know what an arcade is?”

Alastor raised his hand. “Ooh! I know what this is! An arcade is-.”

“No you fucking don’t Al. Who else?”

Niffty waved her hand like mad.

“Do you really know Niffty?”

She put her hand down.

“Mimzy?”

“Uhhhh,” Mimzy droned, scratching her head. “Is it like them gambling doohickeys where you put your money and get nothing out?”

Crymini cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah that sounds about right. Lemme show you around.”

She led the three in through the front and showed them around. The whole place was a neon blue den of bright lights and competing sounds that were blasting a few notches below lethal levels. Niffty’s OCD mind took to it very quickly while Alastor and Mimzy stood there bemused.

“Gosh it’s loud in here,” Mimzy said.

“I agree.” Alastor replied, eyeing some of the machines. “Where do you even start with these annoying contraptions?”

“I’ll start you out.” Crymini brought them over to the games in the corner. She picked up a ball. “This is skee-ball. Easiest game in the world. You roll balls into holes. The higher the number, the better the score.” She tossed in some coins to start them out. “C’mon. This is something even you fogeys can handle.”

The two of them looked at each other and shrugged. “Looks like a carnival game to me.” Mimzy took the ball and rolled it up. She made a 3000. “Ooh! That’s good right?” She rolled again. 1000. She groaned.

“Hmmm.” Alastor gave his ball a whirl and it spun up the alley. It bounced off the 4000 and went to 1000. “D’oh! What poor luck! But I’ll get it next time.”

1000\. 1000. 1000. 1000. 1000. 1000.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got it this time.”

1000.

Alastor felt for more balls but got nothing. “Excuse me, dear. Is the machine broken?”

Crymini pointed at the coin slot. “You gotta put more money in if you want more balls.”

Alastor put in his own change and got a fresh stack. “Let’s see you try and make a fool of me this time you ball hungry monster.” A tentacled spawned out of his wrist and picked up a ball. It carried it up the alley, behind the glass and into the 10,000 points hole. Then he did it again, and again. “I’m sorry is this still legal dog girl?”

“Is gonna stop you?” Crymini asked.

“Good point.”

Crymini just let it be and went off to wherever Niffty was. She was staring at a garden of plushes stuck inside a machine. “Yo, short stuff. This is a crane game. You wanna hover it over what you want and try to grab it with the big button. Got it?”

“Yeah sure whatever please I want the fluffy wuffy sheepy thing! Uhh.” Niffty was on her toes but could barely see over the controls, so Crymini propped her up. Niffty put her coins in and brought the claw right above her sheepy. She hit the button, dropped the claw and hit the sheeple. “Oh my gosh! Yes! YES!” It didn’t attempt to grab it for a second. Niffty looked like her dreams were crushed right before her very eyes.

“No! I must have it! More coins!” She failed again. “RRRRRRRRRRRRAAA-!”

“’Ey calm down. I ain’t holding you if you’re gonna keep doing shit like this.” They heard a crack in the distance. “Oh fuck.”

Crymini dropped Niffty and rushed toward the sound. This was when Niffty realized that the hatch where the plush came out was her size.

“You fucking stupid hunk’a junk,” said Mimzy as she smashed the skee-ball machine. Alastor paid no mind and continued to cheat.

“Hey you!” One of the arcade attendants yelled. “What are you two doin- oh fuck The Radio Demon!” And he promptly ran away.

“Alright, that’s enough you two.” Crymini grabbed the both of them and hauled them away. She let Mimzy off with a warning and placed Alastor into a racing seat. “You know how to drive grandpa?”

“I’ve taken a spin around Hell once or twice before.”

“Then drive as fast as possible. Hit as many people as possible.”

“Ah so it’s realistic. Just leave it to me!” Alastor inserted the coins and the machine gave him a gruff ‘ _yeah it’s murdering time!_ ’ He picked his car and track and seconds later he was off to the races. The game counted down 3. 2. 1. and Alastor was off. His classic looking car blazed through the streets and into a park where a bunch of npc models were having a picnic. Alastor caught a slew of them in his grill and roared through. Then he stopped, backed up, hit a few more, and started to sweep up the screen nice and clean.

“Uh, Al,” Crymini said. “You’re supposed to win.”

“You said hit as many as possible! I have to be thorough.”

“Racing is more important!” The sound of another smashed cabinet could be heard in the distance. “Fucking hell!”

Crymini stormed off, leaving Alastor to play his racing game in peace. If it weren’t for the cheesy music he’d find it more amusing. His car was starting to catch up from last place but he had no gaming reflexes and kept slamming into the walls every five seconds. He was about to pass the 2nd to last place vehicle when a familiar face took over the scream.

“Jesus Christ you suck at this!” said Vox, his toothy grin taking over the screen. “Have you ever even played a game before Al?”

Alastor paused as if this was what was supposed to happen. “...Oh Crymini! Can you help me out? I have this ugly mug on my screen and I have no wipers! Hahahahaha!”

“Oh you think you’re funny huh?” Vox’s face blinked off before a shock of electricity jumped out of the machine and into the arcade. In a flash Vox teleported in, dressed in his dapper black and cyan.

Alastor got out of his seat. “So what pleasure do I owe to have your bloopy self here.”

The two circled each other. “I should be the one asking you bitch! This is my turf. I am the game king here.”

“Oh I didn’t know I was standing with royalty. Does that make you the king of little children’s toys?”

“Don’t fucking whine about them now. You’re just pissy cause you suck at games. What? Is the poor old man too scared to lose?”

“I’m just getting warmed up bucko. Any game you ask I can kick your teeth in.”

“Are you’re challenging me? Fine! We’re gonna settle this with the highest skill, technically challenging, most competitive game in all of arcade-om! I challenge you Alastor, to the Dee-DeeR!”

Alastor cocked his head, trying not to laugh. “A...Dee-Deer?”


	2. The Dance Battles to End All Dance Battles

Dance with the Devil Redux, or Dee-DeeR, is the forty fifth edition of the popular Devil Dancer franchise that has been the favorite pastime of newer demons next to jello shots and reverse orgies. A bunch of people were in line for the game but the second two Overlords breathed near them they scattered.

Alastor and Vox took their four arrowed stages and put in their coins. “Do you even know how to play? Because if you ask nice I can host an entire show segment teaching you how to kick your own ass.”

“You’re all talk Vox! And that’s my job!” Alastor replied. “I mean look! See all you gotta do is hit these neat little feet buttons. I’ll just hit them better than you can.”

Vox snorted static. “Yeah sure.” He hit the start button and the machine lit up. ‘ _Yeah I love the Devil_!’ it yelled. They brought up versus mode and Vox got first choice of song. Once the initial fear waned folks started coming back to see the battle. Curiosity took over. How would the Radio Demon fare in this new form of competition?

Crymini dragged Mimzy back after making threats to the staff. The showdown caught her eye. “Is that the TV Demon?” she asked. “Don’t see him around here often. Mims, is he, uh, pals with Al there? Mims?”

“Kick him right in the cooch Al!” Mimzy roared. “Bop that asshole! You know what? There’s so many folks here. I should be the dance queen!” She hopped on the other machine.

Alastor was looking at the leaderboard while Vox was scrolling. “Who’s this VVC all over the scoreboards? That doesn’t sound like your name.”

“It, uh, stands for Vox Vox Cocks, which is what I’m about to slap you with in just a minute.” He confirmed his selection for Drop the Bomb. ‘ _First Circle!_ ’ started and the two took their spots. The crowd waited with bated breath. Crymini pushed herself through and got a sideline view.

_Let’s drop the bomb!_

The arrows flew in and the two were at it, moving their feet to the beat and getting their timing perfect. Despite no game skills, Alastor at least had the dignity to have good footwork. Vox was swinging and jiving the whole time, his body spinning with the music as if he was showing off. His score was proving it. Alastor was falling behind.

_Getting sick and tired of the fossil-like system. Now or never it's the time to resist 'em. It's easy to blast them all away, pull a trigger push a button say ADIOS today!_

“Al!” Crymini yelled over the music. “Fucking dance!”

“I am! I’m hitting the arrows aren’t I?” And he was.

“No! Do what the avatar is doing on the screen!” He focused on the anime girl representing him doing an elaborate dance. Vox was following his to a tee.

“Wait...So I have to dance?...In a dancing game!?”

Alastor started throwing his body into the mix and his score started to climb back up. The game was digging the both of them, giving enthusiastic ‘ _yeah!’_ s and ‘ _get down with the Devil_! Alastor was starting to synchronize with Vox and were both getting into it. Alastor popped and locked like a champ.

‘ _Finished! Player 2 wins!’_

Vox took his bow and got an earful of the crowd. Alastor turned over to Crymini. “Dear, how did I lose? I thought I was doing magnificent.”

“You sucked shit at the start that’s what,” she replied. “You gotta do good the entire time.”

Vox turned Alastor around and postured like an asshole. “You scared yet Deer Boy? Ready to admit defeat?”

“I think I’ve got the hang of this. Watch out Vox! Because I am the funky fresh dude here!”

“Good. Because it’s your turn to pick the song.”

Alastor’s neck creaked as he stared at the machine. It was humming with anticipation. ‘ _Select your Summoning Dance!’_ Alastor flipped through the sections and got previews of some songs. He listened to each one carefully, then he switched to a new one. Again, and again, and again. Vox checked the timer. There was no timer.

“Pick something you idiot!”

“No no. This is my advantage. I-.”

Vox confirmed whatever song he was on and the machine revved up. ‘ _Second Circle! Let’s get horny!’_

_Ai yai I yai! I'm your little butterfly! Green, black and blue make the colors in the sky!_

The two hit it off but Alastor was going full force. He threw his ass and hips into every bit of the Butterfly song. For a second it terrified Vox and he slipped up for a second, losing his chain and valuable points. The crowd was vibing but had no idea how to process these avatars of Hell’s might moving their bodies this way.

“You got it Al!” Crymini said. “C’mon do it. Spread those legs...I said spread those legs! Wait. Where’re the others?”

Mimzy was on the other Dee-Deer machine fighting for her life. “Look at me guys! I’m doing it. I’m...whew! This is hard!”

“Uhhhhh.”

Niffty was still stuck in the crane game. Crymini groaned.

‘ _Finished! Player_ _1_ _wins!’_

“Ah! Yes! Victory!” Alastor said. “What say you now you cheap pile of tubes?”

“Don’t think it’s over just yet,” Vox snarled. “You got one more gauntlet, and you’re in my court now! Hahahahaha!”

Vox knew the exact song he was going to end it on, spinning the select menu to the exact spot and confirming before it even previewed. ‘ _Guys, the Devil is my best friend...Final Circle! Freeze motherfuckers!’_

The two took their stances. Their eyes rolled into the back of their heads as if in a zen like state. Energy was building in the machine and two’s avatars prepared to flow into motion. The machine went quiet for a second. The whole crowd waited.

_Gooooooooooooooooooo! Left go right! Go pick up the step! Go left go right go le-eft!_

The two rocked out in perfect synchronicity. When they needed to swing they swung. When they had to dip they dipped. They swayed their arms and spun around. They almost touched each other, which would’ve warranted a full fight.

“Ah! Kick those legs Vox!”

“Are you seriously having fun there Alastor?”

“Well this music is rather gauche but I’m enjoying myself.”

“Really? Because I am a fan of-.”

“Enjoying kicking your rear!” Alastor threw everything into his pops and sways. Vox had to catch up and the two remained neck and neck.

“I won’t let you upstage me radio man. I am the king of this machine! The most expert fucking dancer you’ve ever damned seen!”

“Didn’t it say we were on normal difficulty?”

“Shut the fuck up!”

Vox kept up his pace and the song started to reach its end. It was hitting the riff one last time when a switch up on the notes threw Alastor off his balance. He caught the railing halfway through the fall and kept stomping with his feet. Vox laughed at him until he did the exact same thing and the song ended with both of them halfway off the stage.

‘ _Fantastic! You were wonderful! Hail Satan!’_

The two of them looked at the final scores. Vox’s ego took a major bruise. “A...tie?” 9357800 to 9357800. “H-How’s that even possible? This has to be some kind of joke!”

“It’s a joke?” Alastor asked. “Judging by the look on your face, I’d say it’s pretty hilarious! Hahahahahaha!”

“What are you so happy about deer fucker? We tied! You didn’t win anything!”

“Yes but considering I’ve never even seen a doohickey like this before means I can do whatever you can do without even trying.”

“You want another go?”

“Perhaps, but, uh. Where is everyone?”

Vox took the second to look around. Everyone was on the other side watching Velvet on the stage with Mimzy. Whatever they were playing was more intense than what they were doing.

“I got this…yeah...look at that...am I doing good now? I can’t. I freaking-.” Mimzy collapsed into a pool of her own sweat.

Meanwhile Velvet was grinding at light speed, her feet barely touching the floor. She was drawing all the eyes, especially the boys’ with her practical gym outfit. When the song ended the crowd roared for her. “VelVetCake! VelVetCake! VelVetCake! VelVetCake!”

“Oh you all are so wonderful!” Velvet said, pulling out a towel. “Thank you for the love. Group selfie!” She took a group photo and made her way over to some of the other games while the crowd followed. She blew Vox a kiss as she passed by, which was enough to make him storm off.

Mimzy gasped for air as she lied in a heap of shame. “Why did Hell make me so fucking fat?”

Crymini poked at her. “You alright?”

“As depressed as I’ll always be.”

Alastor used some of his trickster shit to make Mimzy stink less bad. “Alright, my curiosity has been sated. Can we leave now?”

“Yeah yeah sure,” Crymini looked around again. “We still need to find Niffty.”

She was sleeping with the plushy in the crane game. Crymini managed to snag them both and plop them out of the machine. Niffty woke up in a huff. “What’d I miss?”

“So gramps,” Crymini asked. “Did you like any of these games? Are you not going to bitch about my Game Lad anymore?”

“No, I will,” Alastor said. “But what I will say is that things that tell me I’m a winner are very entertaining.”

“I like feeling validated,” said Mimzy.

“Alright this was a waste of coin.” And the group left the arcade, where the adults promptly vowed to never go back again.


End file.
